Our expert team here at Ready to Relate have listed some helpful ideas for practitioners that will help support the building of the parent infant relationship.
Remember to use the cards and have access to the digital resource in the Toolkit. These topics will also be covered in more detail in your CPD training.
If you notice mum and baby gazing into one another’s eyes, take a moment to let the mum know you have noticed something really positive. You can even ask for consent to take a photo on mum’s phone for her. Then show the mutual gaze section, explaining this is what you saw her doing with her baby. Explain why this is positive using the information on the cards. Ask if she has noticed this before. If you notice mum and baby focused on an object together or watching something that is happening together, this could be a good time to introduce the attending together section. It can be helpful to let mum know that as baby gets older, they become more interested in the world around them, and that this is an important part of their development. Helping them to learn. Additionally, show mum pictures of attending together. This may help mum to not feel rejected or less important to baby as baby develops. Rather mum can enjoy noticing her baby’s health development and that she supports this.Mutual gaze
You could show the mum babies are born ready to relate section if baby is newborn. It can be helpful to let mum know that as baby gets older, they become more interested in the world around them, and that this is an important part of their development – helping them to learn.Born ready to relate
Notice that baby is listening to mum’s voice and share the ready to relate section. Emphasise that babies are born ready to relate and mum’s voice is familiar and comforting to baby. Explain that baby recognises her voice as they have heard it when they are in the womb. Share information about the brain section to emphasise how chatting to baby is valuable and that it will be influencing the development of their baby. You can also connect the impact of mutual gaze to the brain section, showing the mum how she is actually helping shape pathways in her baby’s brain. The Brain
Celebrate that mum has noticed that baby is making signals/cues, and that mum is responding to them. Explain that babies are communicating their inner states all the time. Explain that engagement and disengagement cues are all important parts of baby’s communication and that the important part is that parents are trying to make sense of this and using the information to respond to baby. Share the cues section – discuss the baby’s cues on the pictures and see what cues baby is making. You could use the attending exercise to support mum to notice baby’s cues.Learning Cues
Praise parents using skin to skin with their baby when you notice it by sharing the skin-to-skin section. Reference the importance of skin to skin by referring to the information in the cards. Let mum know that skin to skin is valuable as baby gets bigger too. If parents are worrying about missing skin to skin immediately post-birth, then acknowledge the difficult feelings mum may have. Let mum know that skin to skin benefits baby at any point and that older babies can find skin to skin to be a huge benefit. Share the skin-to-skin information on the card, including the photo of the older baby having skin to skin.Skin to skin contact
Mum showing sympathy to her baby’s sad/angry/upset signalling. Share what you have noticed with mum and that this is a really helpful part of parenting. Share the contingent marked mirroring section with mum, explaining why contingent marked mirroring is so important for baby, using the information on the cards. Show mum that this is important when baby has happy or joyous feelings – using the cards which demonstrate this, but also sad, angry and upset feelings. Explain that mum is helping baby make sense of their emotions and learn that they are safe, and that mum is there to comfort them and help them regulate themselves.Mirroring
When baby is quiet enough for mum to have a conversation with you, share the information about how crying is a signal/communication. Look at the information on time for a change and notice if mum did any of the things mentioned on the cards to comfort her baby. Ask mum if knows what a great thing it is that she is doing when she comforts her baby and share the information about the HPA axis. Let mum know that overtime her baby will learn to regulate themselves more but that that development takes time. Support mum to feel confident in her choice to respond to baby.Crying and Soothing
If you spot a mum struggling with some of their infant’s behaviour take time to share the not naughty section. Use the first card to help make sense of the infant’s experience, the sensory pleasure they may have playing with the cream as well as trying to copy what their parent does by applying the cream. Share the marshmallow experiment and explain how children do not have self-control as we do as adults because their anterior cingulate cortex is not well enough developed. You could use the website voice over to explain this too. Explain that because of this, parents need to adjust their parenting so that infants and small children are not expected to do control themselves when they don’t have the brain development to do so. They are not naughty, they simply cannot do it. Also help parents recognise that behaviour is communication. Wonder with the parent what tricky behaviour could be communicating.Not naughty
A baby is sucking lots after a fast or difficult delivery – explain that sometimes a birth can put pressure on the infant’s cranium and that by sucking baby is helping ease that pressure. Direct the mum to the ready to relate online resources for this and share information about rocking the vomer.Feeding cues