Why Ready to Relate?
The Ready to Relate (R2R) website and cards were born out of a desire to create visual, interactive tools that help practitioners assess, discuss and share healthcare information with families and to make NICE recommended interventions accessible. They improve and enhance the parent‐infant relationship and promote infant attachment and optimal infant development.
Who is behind the development?
Whilst there has been a wider collaborative approach that has brought in a wide range of expertise across the sector, the main driving force behind the the R2R resources has been led by experienced clinicians and service managers at Bradford District Care NHS Foundation Trust, Lisa Milne and Jane Dickens.
Lisa is the Clinical Lead for the Specialist Mother and Baby Mental Health Service and is the pathway lead for perinatal mental health care across Bradford District Foundation Care Trust.
Jane leads the strategic direction for a collaborative approach to infant feeding in the district. She leads the team delivering clinical specialism for complex infant feeding issues.
Accolades
Innovation Award 2015, North London Perinatal Mental Health Consortium.
Institute of Health Visiting Award.
User feedback
During a pilot study of health visitors and nursery nurses, of 150 participants, 95 per cent of respondents were overwhelmingly positive about the cards.
Respondents credited the cards with: encouraging positive parenting and interaction between the parent and infant; learning to understand the importance of infant cues to respond appropriately to babies; and positively influencing aspects of neurodevelopment.
Lisa and Jane run Ready to Relate Training
If you work with babies or families in pregnancy you can find out more about the training we run by visiting our For Practitioners page or you can contact our administrative colleague via email: Josephine.Domanski@bdct.nhs.uk.
Lisa Milne, Clinical Lead of Specialist Mother and Baby Mental Health Service shares her own experiences and why she knows babies are indeed amazing.
Over the last few years researchers have discovered how amazing babies are – that they have some extraordinary capacities as well as some limitations. But some of these discoveries are not well known. Yet by understanding more about our babies we can help their cognitive development and emotional well-being.
When I had my first child I knew that he would need his nappy changed, to be warm and fed often. I knew he would need lots of cuddles. But I didn’t know lots of other things about what babies’ need. I did not know that he would also need a companion; someone to share his moment to moment experiences, someone to communicate with and to make meaning with. I did not know that before he was even born he knew my voice, could recognise the language I spoke, and that within hours of birth he would recognise my smell, prefer my face and prefer my voice to all others. That being held against my skin would ease his stress. That looking into my eyes and sharing gaze with me would release positive chemicals into his brain that would actually help his brain to grow. That my baby was ‘talking’ to me from birth onwards – he was just using his body or ‘cues’ to express himself. I also didn’t know that babies are born ready to relate.
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Babies also have lots of limitations. They cannot comfort themselves, they hate being alone, and they don’t have self-control; their brains are not developed enough. Have you noticed that sometimes a toddler looks as if they know they should not do something but they do it anyway? Well, they are not being naughty, rather, it is because their brains are just not well enough developed yet to stop themselves. Slowly after more than five years they begin to have a bit of self-control. But even as adults we may still find somethings hard to resist!
I can remember finding it very stressful when my baby cried. Other people would tell me that “babies just cry – they are exercising their lungs” and that if I kept trying to comfort my baby I would “build a rod for my own back”. Interestingly, we now know that if the parent picks up a baby when they are sad and distressed the parent is actually helping to stop stress chemicals flooding their baby’s body and positive chemicals are released instead. What is more, babies who are more responded to end up being better at managing their emotions than babies who are left to cry.
70% of women don’t fall in love with their baby immediately…
It is not easy having a baby. As parents we are often tired, sleep deprived and it can feel quite relentless at times. There are a lot of chores to do as a parent. Many women find that it takes time to fall in love with their baby. 70% of women don’t fall in love with their baby immediately, but need to get to know their baby and build a relationship with them before they feel that they love their child. However, the more we can understand our babies the more interesting, inspiring and fascinating they can be.
So, what I would like for all parents is that they know more than I did about how amazing their baby is and to know how valuable they are. After all, by being with their baby, parents are shaping their baby’s brain. By treating our babies as if they have minds of their own, we are actually helping our babies to develop. And, if we can all support parents and babies to enjoy the joy then we will have happier and healthier families and communities.